The art of flirting, in 140 characters or less

Batting a coquettish eye from across the room at Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome is so last century. These days, it's all about flirting with the fingertips.

Typing or texting to social media site Twitter is becoming a go-to way to flirt and find love as people become more comfortable in the Web 2.0 world.

And Valentine's Day weekend speed dating events in Toronto and across the country will bring the usually virtual experience of Twitter to an in-the-flesh gathering of singles.

"Flitter," a flirting game that will debut at events hosted by speed dating company FastLife, will give singles the chance to tweet flirty messages to others at the event.

Each attendee will be identified by a number, and guests are encouraged to bring their smartphones so they can tweet flirty messages about #102's smouldering beauty, for example. The tweets will show up on a large screen for all to see.

Speaking to CTV's Canada AM earlier this week, FastLife founders Justin and Annabelle Parfitt said flirting through Twitter allows people to come out of their shells and begin to interact.

"It's basically the new way to flirt," Annabelle said.

The tweet's 140 characters (in which people answer the question, "What are you doing?") are a fit for flirtation because tweeting is how Twitter users draw followers, says Jeffrey Kishner, editor of TechCoquette, a blog that explores the complexities of dating in the digital age.

"There's something about the form where you're basically relying on your wit to seduce someone," he told CTV.ca. "You're trying to win people over with your intelligence."

The immediacy of the medium also makes it appealing for would-be flirters, he said.

For those ready to take their 140-character banter to a new level, there are several Twitter dating websites that aim to help singles connect. TechCoquette features a run-down of the pros and cons of dating services TweetLove, My Tweetheart.com, Flirt140.com and 140Love.com.

But even though flirting on Twitter is quick and easy, it shouldn't be undertaken without some precaution.

"Unless you're doing DMs (direct messages), it's totally public," Kishner cautioned.

That means salacious tweets will show up in Google searches in real time and have the potential to harm a tweeter's personal reputation, he said.

Airing on Slice January 11th, 2010

"Love Incorporated" follows the real-life adventures of Annabelle and Justin Parfitt as they navigate marriage and run FastLife Speed Dating, a business built on love. So while Justin sets his sights on the global expansion of their singles empire, Annabelle clearly has babies on the brain and goals of her own. "If I was allowed to procreate, I'd have 10!" How does Annabelle get Justin to settle down when he's focused on matchmaking the world? Can they keep the tension in the boardroom out of the bedroom and vice versa? Be sure to watch when it comes to Slice in January 2010!

Click here to watch.

Speed dating for cougars
by Avra Goldenblatt


Original article URL can be found here.

Okay. I am just going to say it. I’m 50 and I’m single. And, I’ve just come home from a ToyBoy Speed Dating Event. How did this happen?
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For the first few months after my birthday I couldn’t even get the words “I’m 50” out of my mouth without my eyes filling with tears and my head running the same mantra over and over: I am going to be alone forever.

This was ridiculous! I never thought I was old, and I always had people telling me how young I looked for my age. But somehow, being 50 and single was making me feel strange and different. It was starting to change how I was living my life.

When someone at my office asked me if I would attend a speed dating event, I surprised myself when I said “Yes!”

The next thing I knew, I received an email invitation to a ToyBoy Speed Dating Event organized by Fastlife.ca, an international company with events in almost every city in Canada, as well as the US, Australia and Europe. Their website seemed pretty slick and their events were quite varied… everything from Beer Tasting Speed Dating to Tall Men Speed Dating (that one gave me a chuckle!) But I was set up for their ToyBoy Event, listed on their website as “Here’s to You, Mrs. Robinson!” What had I done?

As the days got closer to my big night out, I worried what I would say to a twenty-something young man. Never mind that, could I make it through the twelve separate eight-minute dates? Yikes! This was sounding more like a job than a night out!

I began to think about what I really wanted in a man. Could washboard abs be enough to keep me interested? Would these guys need some serious brainpower in order to get me hot and bothered…or would a nice set of arms and that smell of youth be enough? More importantly, what to wear?

The night of the event I was in a panic. What to wear? I had lots of great clothes, but what would work in this situation? Sexy schoolmarm, "Ivana Eurotrash", or jeans and a t-shirt? I called one of my best friends who told me to wear jeans and a pretty pink top I have that shows just enough cleavage to be somewhat sexy and show lots of arm— one of my better assets.

She went on to say: “Have two drinks before you walk in, make sure your lipstick is glossy, not matte, and try not to bring the hardnosed ‘work Avra’ to the event. Just leave her at home. Pretend you’re a Jewish Catherine Zeta Jones!” I just laughed and downed the first drink.

The speed dating took place at a chic downtown restaurant. When I arrived I stood across the street for a few minutes watching the people walk in. I could see that the guys were showing up before the women: Young bucks of all shapes, sizes and colours.

Finally, a women who looked around 40 walked up to the door, took a deep breath and walked in. That was my cue. I crossed the street and walked in behind her.

The scene felt like a regular bar. People huddled up ordering drinks, men talked or texted while they paced. The women definitely seemed more nervous, staring into space trying not to look too uncomfortable. I pushed myself up to the bar and ordered a drink. I smiled at the fellow next to me…who immediately asked me my name.

We chatted for a bit, and I found out he wanted to work in television, but was working at a modelling agency for the moment. When I pressed him for details, he came up short. I actually think he was interning there! Oh my gosh! He was 25.

The scoop on the mechanics:

The next four hours went by in a blur. Four hours! Justin Parfitt, the owner, managed introductions and explained how it was all going to work:

The women would stay seated at tables, and the men would switch tables every eight minutes after the gong was sounded. Each participant received a form where we were to fill in each person’s name who sat down at our table. Then after the eight minutes, we had to write, “yes” or “no” next to the boy’s name. A “yes” meant it was okay if he contacted you. A “no” was obviously a pass.

Justin told the group that ToyBoy events had the greatest success in matches of any of the speed dating events. At first I was skeptical, but after a while I realized why: No one had anything to lose.

The sweet Indian “boy” who sat down told me that he ran his parents business in Canada and that he liked dating older women because they weren’t complicated and didn’t want kids. I asked him why he didn’t date Indian women. “Because the minute I date an Indian girl, my parents will find out and I’ll have to get married,” he blurted out. Could having a coffee with him hurt? I scribbled down a “no”.

After about the fifth “date”, I admit, I was exhausted. Did I get this tired in my 30s? I was running out of coherent things to say, and my fourth drink was kicking in. Not a good sign. I was starting to pretend I was doing job interviews, especially with the ones I found unattractive.

One thing I did find amusing out of the twelve dates: Ten asked me if I owned my own home. I began to wonder if they all still lived with their parents or were looking for Canadian citizenship! I started thinking about my friends and their 27 year-old children and began to get a sickly feeling about it all. These guys were the same age as my friends’ children!

As the evening came to a close, I headed to the ladies' room and met a few of the other women fixing themselves up for the last call. I asked one of the women why she had come. “I hardly ever go out. I can’t stand fix ups and I am so shy,” she said in the quietest of voices. “Young men don’t intimidate me,” she added. Another said bluntly, “I just love having sex, and this is a really safe and easy way to find it.”

As I made my way up the stairs and out the door, I looked around at the young, the old, the desperate and the shy. Was I was glad that I had had this adventure? Yes. Will I go out with any of the ‘toys’? I guess I will just have to see what happens!

____________
Read more by Avra Goldenblatt and others at <a href="www.more.ca">More.ca</a>, Canada's site celebrating women over 40.

Follow Alternavox writer Shamim Ahad's adventures through a night of dating with FastLife. Click Here to see what she had to say!