The art of flirting, in 140 characters or less

Batting a coquettish eye from across the room at Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome is so last century. These days, it's all about flirting with the fingertips.

Typing or texting to social media site Twitter is becoming a go-to way to flirt and find love as people become more comfortable in the Web 2.0 world.

And Valentine's Day weekend speed dating events in Toronto and across the country will bring the usually virtual experience of Twitter to an in-the-flesh gathering of singles.

"Flitter," a flirting game that will debut at events hosted by speed dating company FastLife, will give singles the chance to tweet flirty messages to others at the event.

Each attendee will be identified by a number, and guests are encouraged to bring their smartphones so they can tweet flirty messages about #102's smouldering beauty, for example. The tweets will show up on a large screen for all to see.

Speaking to CTV's Canada AM earlier this week, FastLife founders Justin and Annabelle Parfitt said flirting through Twitter allows people to come out of their shells and begin to interact.

"It's basically the new way to flirt," Annabelle said.

The tweet's 140 characters (in which people answer the question, "What are you doing?") are a fit for flirtation because tweeting is how Twitter users draw followers, says Jeffrey Kishner, editor of TechCoquette, a blog that explores the complexities of dating in the digital age.

"There's something about the form where you're basically relying on your wit to seduce someone," he told CTV.ca. "You're trying to win people over with your intelligence."

The immediacy of the medium also makes it appealing for would-be flirters, he said.

For those ready to take their 140-character banter to a new level, there are several Twitter dating websites that aim to help singles connect. TechCoquette features a run-down of the pros and cons of dating services TweetLove, My Tweetheart.com, Flirt140.com and 140Love.com.

But even though flirting on Twitter is quick and easy, it shouldn't be undertaken without some precaution.

"Unless you're doing DMs (direct messages), it's totally public," Kishner cautioned.

That means salacious tweets will show up in Google searches in real time and have the potential to harm a tweeter's personal reputation, he said.

Click Here to read the original article on National Post.com:

Justin and Annabelle Paritt give their matchmaking lives the reality treatment with Love Incorporated Slice Justin and Annabelle Paritt give their matchmaking lives the reality treatment with Love Incorporated

This is a story about love, money, television and how far you might go to build a brand and to expand a company and vision across the borders of language and culture. Would you allow video cameras to film you wearing lingerie? Building a small shrine to the baby you hope to have with your oft-distracted husband? Having your butt waxed?

Meet Justin and Annabelle Parfitt. Justin is tall, slim, charming and handsome in a way that falls just short of suspicious. Annabelle, his wife (and younger by 15 years), is cute and likeable but also sharp and assertive; she is a trophy, for sure, but clearly offers more to the partnership than a decorative function. And starting today, Justin and Annabelle are the stars of Love Incorporated, a new reality TV series airing on the Slice network.

Justin and Annabelle own FastLife, a speed dating company that operates in Canada, Australia, the United States, the United Kingdom and China. The couple lives a semi-nomadic existence, bouncing between desks in existing offices and meetings in developing markets. The 13-episode series focuses on the couple's relationship and their business, zeroing in on some of FastLife's 150-200 monthly events. We're privy to speed dating for dog lovers, fitness lovers, wine lovers and men who love women who wear exposed lingerie in public places.

At its core, the show is a simple narrative of two sexy married people who work together on a sexy business, and then come home and drink wine while splayed, in bathrobes, across their bed. Each episode centres around a simple set-up: Episode 2: Annabelle hires a Feng Shui expert to make their rental apartment feel more like home; Episode 3: Annabelle, raised in Australia, struggles with Canadian winter; Episode 7: Annabelle and Justin dog-sit. The show has some deliberately racy moments, and Annabelle isn't shy about stripping down for the cameras. (On a related note, we find out that Annabelle's grandmother used to sew sexy lingerie "during the war," a consistently underappreciated contribution to a crisis.)

The show was created by producer and writer Laura Lillie Mathews. "The married couple with the backdrop of this singles empire; it felt like a world," she says.

Vanessa Case, a vice-president at Slice, agrees. "They're a great-looking couple and an example of what a lot of people aspire to be in their real lives," she says. "They have a successful business, they're romantic, they're open about their love for each other, and they're passionate about what they do."

Justin was initially turned off by the idea of a reality TV show, but with a business to promote and ambitions of going global, this kind of self-promotion began to make sense. And, in many ways, Justin and Annabelle's ambitions to popularize speed dating and expand their business by signing a significant chunk of their lives over to a film crew -- they filmed for five months, shooting five days a week for 10 hours a day, two weeks on and one week off -- makes sense. It is, after all, usually the prospect of either love or money that induces people to invite this level of televised scrutiny.

So the Parfitts are successful and sexy and (seemingly) functional in love. Where does the necessary conflict come from? Well, Annabelle and Justin might not have conventional jobs, but they do have a fairly typically gendered division of priorities. They can both hear different clocks ticking -- her for a baby and him for a business empire. The early episodes set the tone for a season of pouting Annabelle trying to convince her husband that it's time to start a family. "I'd like to have at least five," Annabelle says, which helps explain her urgency to get started. (In an early episode, Annabelle starts choosing baby names. Little "Pirate Parfitt" has my vote so far.)

If the episodes weren't scripted, they were certainly nudged, shaped and storyboarded. "We wouldn't write dialogue, but we would look at how we could fuse whatever was coming up with the business with whatever was happening in their personal life to make the episodes more thematic," Mathews says. "With docu-soaps, you take the storytelling techniques of drama and infuse it with real life. But you have to have something authentic; viewers are pretty savvy now."

The Parfitts' story of love and marriage is indeed authentic. Justin -- who was born in England but lived in Australia for a time -- and Annabelle met at a bar in her native Sydney seven years ago when he was 32 and she was 18. He offered to buy her a drink and she ordered a bottle of Champagne. The rest, as they say, is history. (Though not an entirely classy history; Annabelle reveals in the first episode that she farted noticeably on their first date. Before filming, the couple made a pact to not disclose that little nugget of information but, as Justin says, "Lines just end up being crossed.")

And then you know how it goes: One minute you're sipping from delicate glass flutes and the next you're having your butt waxed for a national audience. The fairly graphic waxing of Justin's behind, which pops up in Episode 2, was Annabelle's idea, as she insisted that she could see Justin's "hairy ass" through his gym shorts.

Justin's waxing becomes a key plot point, and offers an excuse to show him, appropriately shielded by a fluffy white robe, trimming his pubic hair on the side of the tub. In another episode, Justin has some stomach troubles that lead to an overflowing toilet. "I was a little concerned," he acknowledges, "that this is suddenly all about my ass."

The show has yet to hit the airwaves, but Justin isn't concerned about how he and Annabelle are perceived. "I would be concerned if the relationship were on the rocks and we were trying to present it as something it wasn't," Justin says. "But we do have a very strong relationship. I can't see how this little adventure is going to upset the apple cart too much."

Even prior to the television series, Annabelle acknowledges that their relationship was necessarily under scrutiny. "We're in the business of hooking people up," she says. "You become quite conscious that you want to be a good example of a happy romance."

Justin acknowledges some of the known unknowns of being a reality TV star: "I don't know about the lack of privacy or what it's going to be like to read a horrible review or if someone says something nasty about my wife."

Having your butt waxed on national television might be the ultimate sacrifice to your brand, but Justin and Annabelle are still learning the ropes and playing with their personal and professional boundaries. "My approach to life is to just dive into the deep end and see what happens," says Annabelle, and her husband is equally game. "Nothing is really off limits," he says. "If there's a Season 2, we'll see exactly how far [we] can be pushed."

The math of love

Justin and Annabelle Parfitt, international experts in the ways of love and matchmaking, have devised the "Modern Match Equation," which they believe can predict successful male/female matches based on the matches made at over 1,000 of their FastLife speed dating events. The math?

The ideal age of a woman is calculated by the formula, 3/4 the man's age + 5 years. The formula for women to use is 5 years younger x 4/3. In other words, a 30-year-old man should be on the lookout for a 28-year-old woman, and a 31-year-old woman should consider a 35-year-old man. (The formula applies to all people ages 25 to 40.)

Based on this equation, here are some "perfect" celebrity matches:

1. Musicians Chantal Kreviazuk and Raine Maida

2. Actors Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith

3. Actress Malin Akerman and Italian musician Roberto Zincone

4. Ben Mulroney and designer Jessica Brownstein

5. Justin Trudeau and Sophie Grégoire

Bad matches include Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, as well as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Turns out that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are a great fit.

Airing on Slice January 11th, 2010

"Love Incorporated" follows the real-life adventures of Annabelle and Justin Parfitt as they navigate marriage and run FastLife Speed Dating, a business built on love. So while Justin sets his sights on the global expansion of their singles empire, Annabelle clearly has babies on the brain and goals of her own. "If I was allowed to procreate, I'd have 10!" How does Annabelle get Justin to settle down when he's focused on matchmaking the world? Can they keep the tension in the boardroom out of the bedroom and vice versa? Be sure to watch when it comes to Slice in January 2010!

Click here to watch.

Speed dating for cougars
by Avra Goldenblatt


Original article URL can be found here.

Okay. I am just going to say it. I’m 50 and I’m single. And, I’ve just come home from a ToyBoy Speed Dating Event. How did this happen?
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For the first few months after my birthday I couldn’t even get the words “I’m 50” out of my mouth without my eyes filling with tears and my head running the same mantra over and over: I am going to be alone forever.

This was ridiculous! I never thought I was old, and I always had people telling me how young I looked for my age. But somehow, being 50 and single was making me feel strange and different. It was starting to change how I was living my life.

When someone at my office asked me if I would attend a speed dating event, I surprised myself when I said “Yes!”

The next thing I knew, I received an email invitation to a ToyBoy Speed Dating Event organized by Fastlife.ca, an international company with events in almost every city in Canada, as well as the US, Australia and Europe. Their website seemed pretty slick and their events were quite varied… everything from Beer Tasting Speed Dating to Tall Men Speed Dating (that one gave me a chuckle!) But I was set up for their ToyBoy Event, listed on their website as “Here’s to You, Mrs. Robinson!” What had I done?

As the days got closer to my big night out, I worried what I would say to a twenty-something young man. Never mind that, could I make it through the twelve separate eight-minute dates? Yikes! This was sounding more like a job than a night out!

I began to think about what I really wanted in a man. Could washboard abs be enough to keep me interested? Would these guys need some serious brainpower in order to get me hot and bothered…or would a nice set of arms and that smell of youth be enough? More importantly, what to wear?

The night of the event I was in a panic. What to wear? I had lots of great clothes, but what would work in this situation? Sexy schoolmarm, "Ivana Eurotrash", or jeans and a t-shirt? I called one of my best friends who told me to wear jeans and a pretty pink top I have that shows just enough cleavage to be somewhat sexy and show lots of arm— one of my better assets.

She went on to say: “Have two drinks before you walk in, make sure your lipstick is glossy, not matte, and try not to bring the hardnosed ‘work Avra’ to the event. Just leave her at home. Pretend you’re a Jewish Catherine Zeta Jones!” I just laughed and downed the first drink.

The speed dating took place at a chic downtown restaurant. When I arrived I stood across the street for a few minutes watching the people walk in. I could see that the guys were showing up before the women: Young bucks of all shapes, sizes and colours.

Finally, a women who looked around 40 walked up to the door, took a deep breath and walked in. That was my cue. I crossed the street and walked in behind her.

The scene felt like a regular bar. People huddled up ordering drinks, men talked or texted while they paced. The women definitely seemed more nervous, staring into space trying not to look too uncomfortable. I pushed myself up to the bar and ordered a drink. I smiled at the fellow next to me…who immediately asked me my name.

We chatted for a bit, and I found out he wanted to work in television, but was working at a modelling agency for the moment. When I pressed him for details, he came up short. I actually think he was interning there! Oh my gosh! He was 25.

The scoop on the mechanics:

The next four hours went by in a blur. Four hours! Justin Parfitt, the owner, managed introductions and explained how it was all going to work:

The women would stay seated at tables, and the men would switch tables every eight minutes after the gong was sounded. Each participant received a form where we were to fill in each person’s name who sat down at our table. Then after the eight minutes, we had to write, “yes” or “no” next to the boy’s name. A “yes” meant it was okay if he contacted you. A “no” was obviously a pass.

Justin told the group that ToyBoy events had the greatest success in matches of any of the speed dating events. At first I was skeptical, but after a while I realized why: No one had anything to lose.

The sweet Indian “boy” who sat down told me that he ran his parents business in Canada and that he liked dating older women because they weren’t complicated and didn’t want kids. I asked him why he didn’t date Indian women. “Because the minute I date an Indian girl, my parents will find out and I’ll have to get married,” he blurted out. Could having a coffee with him hurt? I scribbled down a “no”.

After about the fifth “date”, I admit, I was exhausted. Did I get this tired in my 30s? I was running out of coherent things to say, and my fourth drink was kicking in. Not a good sign. I was starting to pretend I was doing job interviews, especially with the ones I found unattractive.

One thing I did find amusing out of the twelve dates: Ten asked me if I owned my own home. I began to wonder if they all still lived with their parents or were looking for Canadian citizenship! I started thinking about my friends and their 27 year-old children and began to get a sickly feeling about it all. These guys were the same age as my friends’ children!

As the evening came to a close, I headed to the ladies' room and met a few of the other women fixing themselves up for the last call. I asked one of the women why she had come. “I hardly ever go out. I can’t stand fix ups and I am so shy,” she said in the quietest of voices. “Young men don’t intimidate me,” she added. Another said bluntly, “I just love having sex, and this is a really safe and easy way to find it.”

As I made my way up the stairs and out the door, I looked around at the young, the old, the desperate and the shy. Was I was glad that I had had this adventure? Yes. Will I go out with any of the ‘toys’? I guess I will just have to see what happens!

____________
Read more by Avra Goldenblatt and others at <a href="www.more.ca">More.ca</a>, Canada's site celebrating women over 40.

Follow Alternavox writer Shamim Ahad's adventures through a night of dating with FastLife. Click Here to see what she had to say!